Fractious Fairy Tales and Fables - The Persnickety Old Goat and the Butterfly

The rocky, mountain terrain is treacherous even for the persnickety, old goat, King Rupert, who has lived on Mt. Gredey his entire life. Old age has a lot to do with it for in goat years King Rupert is nearly ninety. That's a lot of years of trotting up and down the slopes of Mt. Gredey commanding the world from his throne, high above all who grovel at his hooves. King Rupert would never admit it is age that has grounded him of late to wintering closer to the base of the mountain, and certainly none in his kingdom would speak of it near earshot, but all know struggling to stay warm and find food is getting harder and harder for the old goat.

If King Rupert could, he would kick up his heels and sprint up the mountain, as spring has just begun to waken patches of new grass and melt snow ever higher up the mountain paths, but the days of kicking up his heels, let alone sprinting anywhere for any distance, have come and gone. He will satisfy his lust for the warmth of spring sunshine and tasty grasses by ambling up the path to the small open pasture that clings to the side of Mt. Gredey about 500 feet from the base.

As everyone who makes Mt. Gredey home knows, winters can be ever so long and so eerily quiet that even a persnickety, old goat, like King Rupert can get somewhat lonely and for a very brief period of time each spring, he welcomes the awakening of his mountain kingdom. But like a crusty, old grandfather the enthusiasm for guests on his mountain will dampen quickly and soon he will be snorting, stomping and huffing at everything that gets in his way.

"I am King of this mountain and all the lands stretching in every direction beyond it," he will soon bellow, but for now, there will be a very narrow window of resentful camaraderie.

King Rupert's court on Mt. Gredey includes a collection of court jesters, a harem of nubile goat beauties, yaks, llamas, sheep and the occasional jibberishing nomad. All bowing and kow-towing with undue respect for the "fair and balanced" canard of life in the Kingdom of King Rupert from the top of Mt. Gredey.

Minstrel-Media Spin Dr. Roger Yakes, King Rupert's closest advisor and creator of the Yak News Network, is solely responsible for disseminating only rupertonian news at the expense of the "free-thinkers" news outlets, which are ferociously attacked, banned where possible, and financially ruined at the whim of King Rupert.

Many of the buffoon-pundits such as the pernicious, head-butting, boer-goat, The Beckster, his cousin the sinister-egotist, "double-plastic" Vannity, and the mean-spirited, lascivious, Angora Orally are praised for their out-right lies and vicious attacks on the "free-thinkers". The challenge is for each to be more outlandish, malicious and hateful than the other for which they are ostentatiously rewarded by King Rupert.

It is clear that "some people say. . ." is a direct quote from the agenda of King Rupert in the guise of note-worthy news... that buffoon-pundit Orally's bullying interviews and tirades, punctuated with screams of "shut up!" are acceptable media thuggery... and the credo "fair and balanced" is an inside joke at the expense of both rupertonians and "free-thinkers" everywhere.

Anise Swallowtail is not only the Queen of the Free-Thinkers, she is the most beautiful butterfly ever to light upon the wild-flowers of Mt. Gredey, or glide effortlessly on the breezes that carry the perfume of spring wild-flowers down the mountain to King Rupert.

Queen Anise is the benefactor of beauty and love in an otherwise, desolate and destitute realm. Her powers come from the spirits of all things beautiful, soulful, and inspiring... love, music, laughter, friendship, and the spirituality of nature.

Her biggest burden is that she is the unrequited love of the mean-spirited, old-goat whose own misery has inflicted an assault of heartless indifference and unimagined cruelty to rupertonians and free-thinkers everywhere. Her life-long task has been to change his heart of stone to a palpitating heart of song and generosity. With the changing of every season, she is heart-broken over her failure to win over King Rupert's pea-sized heart.

But each spring brings with it a renewed hope that her battle of wills with the bleating, old goat will fulfill her destiny as Queen of the Free-Thinkers.

Bazillionaire King Rupert hungered for the kind of influence in the Kingdom of Mt. Gredey that he had in Britonia and Downundia. Consumed by a political strategy to dominate the New York Postulate and the creation of Yak News and the Weekly Standown, he used the lax media regulations to consolidate his hold over the rupertonian media and wider political debate in the kingdom of Mt. Gredey.

His empire includes: satellites delivering TV programs in five continents, dominating Britonia, Italia, wide expanses of Asianomia and the Middle Eastonia. He publishes 175 newspapers, including the New York Postulate and The Times of Londonaire. He owns the Nineteenth Century Yak Studio, Yak Network, and 35 TV stations that reach more than 40% of his kingdom. His cable channels include Yak News, and 19 regional sports channels. As many as one in five rupertonian homes at any given time will be tuned into a show Yak News Corp either produced or delivered.

King Rupert is a far-right partisan who uses his bullying empire explicitly to pull the Mt. Gredey political debate to the right. He promotes the oppressive tactics employed by other dictatorial regimes, and has admittedly hidden money in tax havens.

Queen Anise knew neither she nor King Rupert would bask in the warmth of too many more springs. And while life for both of them has included many such splendiforous springs, it was time to win over the King's heart and release all of the world from his insidious grasp.

This spring would very likely be her last chance...

As she flitted from flower to flower, greeting all of spring's newborns and the familiar friends like Papilio, who had returned with the warm spring breezes or thawing of the ground, she devised her very last scheme to free the Kingdom of Mt. Gredey and the world from the persnickety, old goat, King Rupert.

The plan could be like no other devised in past springs, it must catch King Rupert completely off-guard.

Queen Anise can hear the bleating and snorting of King Rupert's minions, Orally, Beckster and Vannity up on the mating ridge chasing the young, female goats. This would be the perfect time to find King Rupert alone and so she flew above the wild flowers of the plains along the foot of Mt. Gredey, caught the breeze and soared along the winding path to the pasture clinging to the side of the mountain.

Nonchalantly, she circled the pasture a hundred feet above King Rupert's head waiting for a sign that he was aware of her presence. With each circle she floated lower and lower in the sky, closer and closer to the fields where he was dining on the Butterfly Bush, Yarrow, Tall Verbena and Queen Anne's Lace... all delicacies to butterflies.

It is clear that he is expecting her...

She lights upon the beautiful sea of white, purple, yellow, red, pink, and gold, flat-headed, blooms of the Yarrow plants about twenty feet from King Rupert.

"Hello Rupert, it certainly is a gorgeous spring day," her voice is like music floating on a cool breeze.

"It is indeed a nice day, Anise... are we foregoing the propriety of station?" his voice is like gravel beneath a heavy boot.

"You certainly are welcome to address me as Queen Anise and I will respectfully do the same, but maybe for this one conversation, as we are alone in this pasture, we can forgo such formal noblesse oblige."

"As you would have it... it will be so."

"You're looking well, Rupert."

"I look like an old goat, while you still have the radiance of your youth... hardly fair."

"You have acquired other things seemingly more important to a King."

"This is true, but when you get to be as old as I am..." his voice softens and is carried off by a breeze.

"Regrets, Rupert?"

"Hardly, Anise, hardly..."

"Surely you have amassed all of the fortune possible... all of the control and power any King could possibly desire." Anise floats by close enough for King Rupert to fill his nostrils with the scent of her beauty combined with the scent of the wild flowers she has lightly skimmed across.

"Are you baiting me, Anise?" Rupert snorts the dirt to clear his nostrils.

"We are both too old for such games, Rupert, much too old. I would prefer that we end as respectful adversaries and not contemptuous enemies."

"We could never be enemies, Anise... I think our friendship, as unorthodox as it may seem, could never change after all these years."

"Thank you, Rupert... you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that," Anise flutters past his ear tickling him with a butterfly kiss, his ear twitches and he shakes his huge head.

"Rupert, if you could have three wishes granted in exchange for three of your most prized accomplishments... your wealth, your kingdom, your control over others... what would you do?"

"Do you know some mystical spirit who is capable of granting such wishes?"

"Actually, Rupert... I do know such a mystical spirit."

"Who?" Rupert is clearly calculating how such a spirit could live in his realm without his knowledge and why hadn't this spirit made its presence known to his King.

"Rupert, you do not know this spirit and she could not have made herself known to you before now without great sacrifice to her own life. So please, stop trying to design your way into having it all without giving up anything. It won't work like that, not even for you!"

"There's nothing I want..."

"Very well, it was lovely seeing you again... I do love the splendor of spring," Anise flutters her beauty over Rupert's head before soaring away.

"Wait!" King Rupert bellows, the tall grass sways and Anise is caught in the up-draft of his booming voice. She rights her flight and slowly floats back to the Yarrow in his path.

"I get three wishes and I give up three things of my choosing?"

"Not exactly, you give up the three things I listed... your wealth, your kingdom, and your control over others... and you cannot wish for any of these three things as part of your three wishes."

"What three wishes could be as valuable as my wealth, my kingdom, and my control over others?"

"These wishes should not be made lightly, I think it would be best if you think about them for a few days. I will meet you here on the day of rest. Goodnight, my dear Rupert." Anise floats off as the sun begins to settle behind Mt. Gredey.

As Anise soars across the plains to her solitude in a bed of Queen Anne's Lace, she knows her plan is in place, but it will require great courage to execute. The mystical spirit will not survive granting King Rupert his wishes, it will drain all of her powers and leave her with only a whisper before her death.

A last wish of her own...

When the sun peaks over the mountain on the day of rest, an exquisite cocoon is nestled in the Queen Anne's Lace. The warmth of the sun wakens the being inside as the cocoon writhes, sheds its silky sheath and transforms into an exquisite creature, more beautiful than any earthly being.

Fairy Queen Anise spreads her delicate, translucent wings, releases a cascade of auburn tresses, and basks in the warmth of the spring sun. She is immediately surrounding by the flitting of butterflies, moths, fireflies and honey bees enthralled with the presence of the Fairy Queen.

"Thank you for such a lovely welcome," her voice is like music floating on a cool breeze. "but I must leave you, as I have a very important date with King Rupert." The mention of his name sends all of the lovely visitors scurrying off.

Anise glides effortlessly through the breeze, which parts happily to allow safe passage for the Fairy Queen as she soars high above the pasture where King Rupert awaits her arrival blissfully unaware of Fairy Queen Anise's intentions to dethrone him. Anise slowly descends on a breeze fragrant with yarrow, honeysuckle and Indian cress until she floats only feet from King Rupert.

"You must be the mystical spirit, Queen Anise was speaking about... you are beyond any beauty I have ever seen."

"You are too kind, King Rupert," the voice of music floating on a cool breeze is recognized by King Rupert.

"I know your voice... what is your name?" King Rupert steps back, stomping at the grass and kicking up the fragrances in his path.

"You do indeed know me, Rupert... I am Anise... once a butterfly Queen to the free-thinkers, now Fairy Queen to all believers and free-thinkers."

"You mock me!" King Rupert snorts.

"Never, Rupert... not in all the decades we have been respectful adversaries."

"King Rupert, for I don't know you!" he continues to bellow and stomp.

Fairy Queen Anise glides toward King Rupert, "of course, you know me, King Rupert, by name, by voice, by scent... I am Anise." As she flutters near his ear giving a butterfly kiss, he nearly swoons with the fragrance and closeness of this most amazing creature.

"I've come to grant you three wishes... and in return, you will forfeit your wealth, your control over others, and your kingdom." The breeze that carries her voice is intoxicating.

"And if I have changed my mind?"

"It is your choice to do so... I cannot take your prized possessions, they must be given freely."

King Rupert is dizzy in the presence of this intoxicating creature and shakes his huge head and stomps the ground to gain his composure, but he can't fully disarm the powers Fairy Queen Anise now holds over him, nor does he want to...

"I want to be forty again, just as I was at forty nearly a half century ago... I want to live forever never aging and never growing old..." King Rupert shudders as a cold wind blows up the side of Mt. Gredey and across the pasture. When it passes, he feels strangely renewed.

"Granted..." the younger Rupert stands in front of Anise, a shiny coat of silky reddish-gold hair drapes his lean muscles and bones. His horns are no longer brittle from old age, but strong and dangerously sharp.

He kicks up his heels and stampedes across the pasture around and around, kicking up grass, dirt, and rocks in his wake. He stops at a clear, blue pond staring in awe at his reflection. "I'm young again..."

"You have one last wish..." Anise has settled on a honeysuckle bush suddenly very tired and barely able to flutter suspended in air, but Rupert does not notice. He is enthralled with his new visage.

"I want you to stay with me..." Rupert's voice is strong, passionate and barely more than a whisper.

"Rupert, I am... I am flattered and what a lovely wish, but I will not live forever. Are you sure this is your third wish?"

"It is my third wish if you will say, yes."

Anise gathers all her strength to glide over to Rupert, stopping inches from his face, their reflection in the pool broken by a single tear that ripples across the pond.

"Yes!" Anise flutters closer, placing a butterfly kiss on Rupert's cheek.

While "no-longer King", Rupert kicks up his heels and dashes up the mountain path, past all his old minions who do not recognize him or bow in his passing, the world all around him changes. The free-thinkers are freed from their bondage as a breeze of humor, love, compassion and justice swirls around the world.

The strangle-hold on thought and trust is lifted in an up-draft that soars into the stratosphere and is lost in a black hole never to be seen again. The ugly hatred of all things unknown and different are lifted onto the wings of millions of butterflies carrying the weight of loathing and hostility beyond the ends of the earth where it will dissipate into thin air.

And on Mt. Gredey, Fairy Queen Anise floats listlessly onto a bed of yarrow surrounded by a rainbow of colors, releasing a puff of fragrances that carry back to her King, who follows the scent back to his Queen.

"Anise...?"

"Rupert... I'm dying."

"You tricked me!" Rupert rears back and pounds the ground near Anise.

"No, Rupert... I did not expect your third wish. I truly would have lived the rest of my life with you, but my time has come, the powers required to grant your wishes have left me too weak," Anise voice is a whisper and Rupert moves closer to hear her.

"Anise, please!"

"My wish for you, my dear Rupert, is that you will know love and charity all the days of your life." Anise flutters one last butterfly kiss across Rupert's cheek and is gently carried away on the soft breeze of spring, always to be apart of the splendor of spring.

And as it always has been and always will be... spring changed ever so gracefully into summer, and summer into fall, fall into winter. Rupert lived each year with love and charity in his heart. The memory of Anise returned each spring as the fragrance of yarrow and the beauty of Queen Anne's Lace covered the mountain.